It’s Halloween! While ghosts, goblins, and jump scares are expected this time of year, many parents are feeling unsettled by a different kind of fright: the fast-moving, dynamic world of higher education.
From the rise of AI in the classroom to funding cuts and the shifting job market, today’s college experience looks very different from what most of us remember. This can be disorienting for both students and the families trying to support them.
But here’s the good news: uncertainty isn’t a bad omen. It’s a signal that new skills are needed. Trust that your student is up to the task, particularly with some appropriate support.
Here are three simple “trick or treats” to help you support them:
Normalize the Unknown
College is full of plot twists, and students often feel pressure to have it all figured out. Remind them that independence does not mean doing it all by themselves, and that exploring, pivoting, and even “failing” are part of learning. Your calm reassurance and support in helping them come up with the possible solutions and empowering them to access resources can put them at ease and build confidence.
Scare Off Overwhelm with Structure
With so much flexibility in how, when, and where learning happens, students can get lost in the “choose your own adventure” format or in trying to “do what everyone else is doing.” Remind them to “run their own race” and to pursue “what makes them tick!” Help them try different subjects, activities, and communities until they discover what “fits.” Encourage them to experiment with various ways of organizing and motivating themselves until they discover what works…whether it’s an “old-fashion” planner or “an App”, a weekly planning check-in or accountability partner, or an egg timer or special reward to stay focused. Small routines and motivators can serve as anchors and propellers in rough waters.
Build Resilience, Not Just Résumés
In a world of constant change, skills like adaptability, emotional regulation, and asking for help are more important than ever. Rather than celebrating grades, try to give accolades for your student’s decisions and efforts; celebrate moments when your student stretched, struggled, and kept going. Those are the times of real achievement and are sources of pride.
College today may feel like a haunted house at times. Hopefully it is also a place of transformation for your student. Your role isn’t to clear every cobweb, but to be a steady, reassuring presence as they learn to navigate the twists and turns with increased confidence.
About
Beth A. Howland is a higher education consultant and college student success coach based in Ithaca, NY. She is the founder of College Navigators, LLC. Check out all of Beth’s previous posts about college student success. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
